How does storytelling help us to recover from traumas? Our traumatic memories are the pieces of sense we made of what the events that happened to us. We picked up a painful event and interpreted it from the perspective of a victim. We made a story of ourselves being humiliated and attacked. This is our narrative from which our reactions to similar events in present life evolve as they’re predefined by that very first time we've fallen as a victim. It's not only us who portray ourselves as victims, but the entire nations can also suffer from the past traumas and convert them into a strong national narrative, like a post-Soviet rhetorics in Baltic states like Estonia and Latvia regarding occupation by the Soviet Union.
But as the very first story of us being a victim persists in our daily life, again and again, you can actually rewrite it. This "editorial work" of rewriting your story requires some time and effort, but it's worth it. We have the power of imagination, the power to retell to ourselves what has happened to us and build up a new vision of a traumatic event. We can change our attitude to this memory, reinterpret it, if we seek to escape the repeating pitfalls of being a victim. This you can do either by yourself or if the pain is too powerful and dwells deep inside - have recourse to help of a psychotherapist.
Why should you rewrite this story? Because it relieves your pain, it changes the way you react to your daily events. Imagine yourself having one single sentence that you repeatedly read, playing the same role as a victim. The purpose of the story is to give you freedom from your emotions, to make you independent to choose how to act in situations that challenge you.
Let's practice: recall a traumatic event and feel the pain in brings to you, for example, your parents were cruel to you, spanked for being a naughty boy or girl. Now, without any judgment try to rewrite the story by trying to understand why your parents did that. Accept the fact, that they’re not perfect, just as you are, and that they also did mistakes, sometimes grave ones. Tell everything that you feel and think, imaging your parents are sitting next to you and you have a talk with them. The more emotions and feelings you evoke, the more realistic and powerful effect will be. Let your emotions be, don’t oppress them, but approach the entire event with understanding. Don’t put a blame on anyone, but accept your pain and its cause as a fact and remind yourself that life goes on and these memories have no power over you.
Every time when you recall this event, try to embrace it with compassion and understanding, both yourself and your parents. You won’t it change at once, it takes time, but you’ll see how your painful emotions evolve into forgiveness. Through time you’ll notice how peaceful your mind is when this story is reforged. The consistency is vital because you should change the habitual way of thinking, and it will resist.
How did the storytelling of your traumatic events help you or your friends? Can you think about the best ways of sharing your stories with others, for instance, blogging?
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